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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25686781">rest your head (upon my shoulder)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/photographer/pseuds/photographer'>photographer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Graduation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:34:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25686781</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/photographer/pseuds/photographer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The sun, high in the sky, is shining outside his window, and Rei lets out a quiet sigh. His room is quiet, silence only broken by the quiet whirr of the air conditioner, and the silence makes Rei feel all at once like he is too small, and his skin is too tight.</p>
<p>Or, Kaoru is always there when Rei needs him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hakaze Kaoru/Sakuma Rei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>rest your head (upon my shoulder)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With a gasp and a silent cry, Rei finds himself awake.</p>
<p>He’s used to his sleep being affected by nightmares, of course. Rei’s life has not been easy, up to this point. Through the war of Yumenosaki and its aftermath, nightmares became just another daily occurrence for Rei. Nightmares of the war, of the losses he faced, of Ritsu telling him to die and Rei thinking, <i>Maybe I should…</i> </p>
<p>He is used to waking up in a cold sweat, feeling far too old and far too small for his body. </p>
<p>Feeling uncomfortable under the heaviness of his blanket, Rei peels it away from his body and forces himself upright. The sun, high in the sky, is shining outside his window, and Rei lets out a quiet sigh. His room is quiet, silence only broken by the quiet whirr of the air conditioner, and the silence makes Rei feel all at once like he is too small, and his skin is too tight. He shivers as the cold air hits his sweat-soaked skin, hates the feeling of his hair sticking to the back of his neck. </p>
<p>As he stands up from his bed, Rei drags a hand through the hair curled against his nape and uses his other hand to rub the sleep from his eyes. </p>
<p>The idea of trying to fall back asleep seems pitiful, and impossible, to Rei. Even as exhaustion weighs heavy on his limbs and nips at his heels, he keeps moving. Combing his fingers through his hair in place of using an actual brush is a little sad, but Rei can’t conjure up the energy to do much more than giving the tangled strands a few half-hearted tugs. Brushing his teeth leaves his mouth feeling clean but worn, his teeth aching and his throat dry. </p>
<p>It’s only when he’s staring back at his own reflection that Rei realizes today isn’t a good day.</p>
<p>It’s one of those days where he knows nothing will go right for him: his limbs will ache with phantom pain and his brain will play tricks on him, his teeth will ache and his stomach will cramp. It leaves him longing for his coffin, to be able to enclose himself in a small space and feel protected. He feels too open, now. Too vulnerable.</p>
<p>Rei shivers, again.</p>
<p>Looking around at his dorm room only leaves Rei feeling slightly ill. The room is empty and barren, devoid of life. Both of his roommates are long gone, it seems. Despite having no motivation to leave the dorm, the thought of interacting with Eichi leaves Rei feeling sick. With his resolve made, Rei heads towards the door of his dorm. Clad in only a black sweatshirt and black sweats, Rei slides his feet into a pair of well-worn shoes and pockets the key to his dorm room. </p>
<p>It is only after Rei leaves his dorm that he realizes he doesn’t know where to go, exactly. </p>
<p>Ensemble Square still feels a little too foreign to him. Despite all of the trauma he suffered at Yumenosaki, the school had still brought him comfort. He knew the school like the back of his hand, the halls as familiar as the pain in his limbs. The same cannot be said for Ensemble Square. The place is foreign, unknown. Rei often finds himself lost without meaning to be in a place so big and extensive. Oftentimes he is forced to call Kaoru to come to find him from his place stranded in the middle of an unknown hallway somewhere in some building. Even the thought of just walking the halls of Ensemble Square’s dorm makes Rei wary. </p>
<p>Being out of his element isn’t something new to Rei, but it still scares him at times. </p>
<p>Rei doesn’t realize his feet have stopped, at least not at first. He blinks, slowly, and realizes the only thing in front of his eyes is the wide expanse of a door. </p>
<p>The door is familiar, of course.</p>
<p>Rei hesitates, and wonders if he should keep walking. </p>
<p>Before he knows it, Rei knocks on the door. His nerve endings feel like they are on fire, and the tap of his knuckles against the wood feels almost painful. There’s only a slim chance that the person he wants to open the door will, but the need to see the other is overpowering. The room is quiet, at least from outside, and the hallway around Rei is devoid of life. As the seconds tick by, Rei feels more and more like a fool for thinking that the door in front of him would open. </p>
<p>Sighing, with his heart feeling heavier than it had before, Rei starts to move away from the door. </p>
<p>As the loneliness creeps into Rei’s bones, tears begin to prick at his eyes, and he hates himself for it. He doesn’t know where to go, now. He had only the one place to seek comfort from, and that venture had rendered itself useless. At that moment, Rei wishes he knew how to use his phone, knew where it was and how to communicate with people through it. Just hearing from another person might help the tightness in his throat, he thinks. </p>
<p>As Rei goes to turn a corner, he hears a noise, and his feet come to stop. </p>
<p>“Rei-kun!” </p>
<p>Unbidden, Rei immediately turns towards the voice calling out for him. </p>
<p>Kaoru shines like the sun from his spot down the hall. A ridiculous smile is threatening to overtake his face, and his eyes seem to sparkle, even from the distance. He speeds up after calling out to Rei, bounding towards him with the force of a supernova. His blonde hair curls against his neck, a few pieces caught under the silver necklace that he loves to wear so much. He’s dressed casually, in a white V-neck and ripped blue jeans, but Rei feels underdressed next to him, anyways. </p>
<p>There’s something about the way that Kaoru carries himself that always makes you feel underdressed, somehow.</p>
<p>As Kaoru nears Rei, something bad or pitiful must be blatant in Rei’s face, because Kaoru’s smile dims and his eyes fill with worry and Rei feels something like shame fill him at the sight. </p>
<p>“Bad day?” Kaoru asks, sliding a hand around Rei’s neck and curling his fingers into the hair at his nape. He’s close, too close, making Rei feel too much, too soon. Rei doesn’t say anything, though, and instead presses himself closer into Kaoru’s space. His arms, feeling too heavy, curl around Kaoru’s waist and his head falls to press into the juncture of Kaoru’s shoulder. “Hmm~, are you okay, Rei-kun? Is there something wrong?”</p>
<p>Rei only hums and clutches Kaoru tighter. </p>
<p>Kaoru must take something out of that, though, because his hand slides up to hold the back of Rei’s head, and he wraps his free arm around Rei’s shoulders. His grip is strong and reassuring, and Rei lets himself sink into it. He still feels wrong in his body, and his teeth still ache, and his stomach still clenches uncomfortably, but he feels better, like this. </p>
<p>Rei doesn’t know how long they stand there, with Kaoru indulging him, but he’s grateful for every second of it.</p>
<p>When Kaoru starts to pull away, Rei lets him, but he feels a bit at a loss when the warmth between them evaporates. The blonde giggles, something husky and cute, and tilts Rei’s chin up with a finger and a smirk on his face. The smile that greets Rei is blinding, and he attempts to look away. Kaoru stops him, of course, and where Rei expected to see disappointment, he can only find an even larger smile than before.</p>
<p>“You’re sooo cute, Rei-kun~.” Kaoru giggles, diving in to kiss Rei’s nose. And then his cheeks. And this his forehead. Rei lets out a tired, startled laugh, wiggling to get out of the grip Kaoru now has on his cheeks. Kaoru continues to hold him firmly, though, and continues to smother Rei in light, chaste kisses. </p>
<p>Rei can hear someone moving down the hallway, and surely Kaoru can as well, but neither make any move to stop their little game. </p>
<p>Rei has never hidden his love for Kaoru. He’s never cared to try, even when Kaoru tried to hide behind his supposed heterosexuality. They’ve come a long way, now. Rei is grateful for it. </p>
<p>“Kaoru-kun, if you keep kissing me, I might fall for you, you know~.” Rei tells his boyfriend, the words heavy on his tongue and his throat contracting almost a little too much to be comfortable. The shine in Kaoru’s eyes makes the pain of speaking worth it, though. His megawatt smile lights up Rei’s world, and Rei once again feels as though he is lost in Kaoru’s orbit. </p>
<p>“Ahahah! Nobody can resist falling for me, Rei-kun. You should know that by now!” </p>
<p>As he speaks, Kaoru links Rei’s hand in his own, tangling their fingers together. The warmth of Kaoru’s hand spreads throughout Rei’s body as the former tugs him back down the hallway towards Kaoru’s dorm room. Rei’s feet still feel too slow and his limbs still feel too heavy, but being near Kaoru helps, like it always does. A small smile tugs at Rei’s chapped lips as he watches his boyfriend fumbling to open the door to his dorm with one hand.</p>
<p>One, two, three times Kaoru misses as he tries to fit the key into the lock. Watching it makes Rei giggle, and maybe that Kaoru’s plan, because the key fits smoothly into the lock promptly afterward.</p>
<p>The door opens, finally, and Kaoru pulls Rei inside with him. </p>
<p>They both toe their shoes off at the door, Rei slower than Kaoru, before the latter pulls Rei deeper into the dorm room, down the hallway, and eventually towards the bed. </p>
<p>The thought of trying to sleep again still makes Rei feel ill. He sizes up the bed as Kaoru moves to change into something more comfortable, trying to think of something he could do that didn’t involve falling back asleep. The memories that haunt his subconscious still linger idly, and it scares Rei to think that he might have to fall back into that cursed loop of repressed pain so soon.</p>
<p>Kaoru must sense Rei’s hesitance, because he softens and cups Rei’s cheek in the palm of his hand. Rei tilts his head into the hand, closes his eyes and breathes out softly. </p>
<p>“I won’t let anything happen to you,” Kaoru starts, his words soft between the two of them. “I slacked off a lot in high school, and forced you to take on everything by yourself, but I won’t let you carry that weight alone, anymore. We’re partners now, aren’t we?”</p>
<p>“Partners,” Rei affirms, an unbidden smile pulling at his lips. “I’ll never get tired of hearing Kaoru-kun say that.”</p>
<p>“I’ll never get tired of saying it,” Kaoru replies.</p>
<p>Even with his eyes closed, Rei knows that the blinding smile is back on Kaoru’s face. He can hear it in the tone of Kaoru’s voice, knows Kaoru’s reactions better than he knows his own, now. He only forces his eyes open as Kaoru guides him gently towards the bed. Now, Rei moves easily. He clumsily falls into the bed and moves as close to the wall as he can to make room for Kaoru. </p>
<p>It’s a tight fit, of course. </p>
<p>Both of them are a bit too tall for the Ensemble Square dorm beds as it is, but they make it work. Kaoru presses up close to Rei’s back, an arm snaking itself around his waist and a cold nose bumping against Rei’s nape. As Rei curls his knees up, Kaoru’s own follow, and Rei chuckles softly when he notices the action. He can feel Kaoru’s smile rather than see it, and Rei realizes he’s never felt safer than he has with Kaoru at his side. </p>
<p>Rei goes to open his mouth, to explain this to Kaoru in a fit of vulnerability, but Kaoru beats him to it.</p>
<p>“Sleep,” he whispers. “We can talk when we wake up.”</p>
<p>Rei’s mouth closes again, and he nods, shifting until he’s comfortable. </p>
<p>He doesn’t need to speak, doesn’t need to explain everything to Kaoru. Kaoru understands, has been Rei’s partner for far longer than just a few months. The thought is reaffirming for Rei, and he lets himself fall asleep to the warmth of Kaoru at his back and the knowledge that even if the nightmares do return, Kaoru will be there when he wakes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>wrote this in one sitting, so sorry for any mistakes!</p>
<p>thank you for reading &lt;3 :3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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